


Jasper Breaks A Couch

by NavyRuby



Series: Jasper Does Stuff: The Reckoning [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: jasper is redeemed, unlawful treatment of furniture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 00:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7823911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavyRuby/pseuds/NavyRuby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Perfect body was not made for a couch. That's not stopping Jasper though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jasper Breaks A Couch

Jasper lounged back into the left arm of the crystal gems ‘couch’. It had taken her a while to understand the concept of relaxing, or couches, or even relaxing on couches, but there was one thing that was easily digestible about her current situation: She would never be able to fit on a couch.

Being a perfect quartz had came with some sacrifices over the course of her life, most of them occurring on the alien planets that she visited for warring sake, but there was none so bittersweet as not being able to fit her Perfect body on a human couch. If she had to envy Amethyst for one thing it was that her small stature was suitable to do almost anything on a couch if she wanted. Sure, Jasper could just shape shift but why mess with perfection?

At any rate, the quartz had to deal with it like she dealt with all things; Find a way to ruin it for everyone else.

After day four of being trusted by the crystal gems enough to be let into their living space, Jasper’s constant laying her whole body weight onto the side of the couch was beginning to affect the poor thing. It had started to sag, the wood underneath cracking from the persistent pressure of the quartz. The fabric itself had a very distinctly Jasper-shaped indent in it that Pearl would look disapprovingly at whenever she walked by.

Today however, the sixth and final day, was the couches last lament. As Jasper shifted herself, bringing her arms up to put under her head, there was a resounding cracking noise that startled even her.

As the crystal gems and Steven all rushed into the living room to see the damage that had been caused, Jasper was trying to quietly step her way towards the vacant warp pad, not wanting to be around when Amethyst saw what happened to her primary living space.

However, sneaking was not easy when one has a body that could crush the floorboards underneath it by stepping too harshly.

“Jasper,” Was all Garnet had to say to get the bigger gem to stop and turn around almost fearfully to observe the damage she had done.

The whole couch had collapsed in on itself from the just the stress of a few days of putting up with Jasper; It was now just another casualty lost to Jasper’s overwhelming muscle mass.

Standing infront of the couch were the disapproving faces of Garnet and Pearl. Amethyst and Steven however looked like they were mourning the loss of a dear friend. Amethyst, on her knees, tears of anger stinging at her eyes; and Steven, desperately spitting on the couch corpse to try to reverse Jasper’s wrongdoings.

It was all very tragic.

“I’ve never been one for sitting Jasper but if you had to destroy something couldn’t it have been something less important to the aesthetic of the house?” Pearl chastised her, already tutting under her breath about how they were gonna fix this and that.

Jasper scoffed, “Aesthetic? That broken down thing was too old to even exist, let alone be this important to you guys,” She then flexed one arm, exercising some modesty in this trying situation, “I’m surprised that it didn’t collapse to dust from day one of having a body like  _ this  _ on it.”

“Jasper that’s not really appropriate-”

Garnet had been cut off by a primal war shout coming from the purple gremlin that was now rushing towards Jasper, two whips already drawn, “This couch was more than aesthetic, she was a friend!”

Amethyst’s revenge plan had been cut off rather quickly by Jasper grabbing both her whips and holding her up in the air, far away from causing the bigger quartz any actual trouble. She dangled there, helpless and kicking.

“You crystal gems are really something you know that? This is a dumb thing to be so upset about, can’t you just build another one?”

“There can never be another HER…” Amethyst said, resigning herself to just hanging there limply, tears streaking her soft face.

Garnet walked over and took the whips from Jasper, gently setting Amethyst down, “She is right. When we were furnishing this house for Steven we bought the couch at a ‘going away’ sale. There will never be another store like that in Beach City…”

“And never another couch like that either…” Steven had stopped spitting all over the couch and was now just...Looking at Jasper. Looking at her with the saddest, watery-est, eyes that she had ever seen.

It was getting uncomfortable.

Jasper rubbed her arms awkwardly, for the first time feeling a little suffocated by the largeness of them, “Okay this is really depressing me. I never thought I’d say this but I’d rather be living at the barn with the drip and the green bean.”

“Well if you didn’t want to be so depressed you could’ve taken preventive measures to make sure this didn’t happen in the first place!” Pearl huffed from her place on the floor where she was now trying to comfort both Steven and Amethyst. Both of which were looking up at her with betrayal and disappointment hidden behind their usually bright eyes.

“Ugh, okay I’m sorry!” Jasper sighed out the word, apologies feeling foreign between her lips, “Is there something that I can do to make it better?”

Garnet shifted her glasses down to where only her third eye was showing, she looked Jasper up and down appraisingly, “I’m sure something can be arranged.”

Jasper’s feet felt heavy and something resembling dread settled within her, what the hell was this gem getting at?

-

“Hey Amethyst can you pass the popcorn?” Steven mumbled through an already full mouth of popcorn.

“Alright, but save some for me,” Amethyst passed the popcorn over Pearl’s waist who was sitting by her and looking judgingly at the amount of unhealthy snacks that had been shoved into both of their mouths.

“It’s so nice for you to have us over for movie night Steven!” Lapis and Peridot had immediately accepted the invitation to spend time with the cg’s, Lapis because Steven was there and Peridot because she had wanted to see what all the snickering coming from Amethyst was about.

“Yeah,” Peridot giggled, “Real nice Couch you have too!”

Garnet smiled, “I know, isn’t she sturdy?”

Peridot started kicking her legs out of pure mirth for the situation, hitting Jasper directly in the stomach each time.

Jasper, who’s annoyance had been steadily growing since she said yes to this whole thing, grit her teeth and growled, “I agreed to this to make Steven happy not to have a Peridot insult me at my lowest.”

Pearl smirked, “Oh come now Jasper, you’re only getting what you deserve.”

At this the whole couch of people burst into chuckles at Jasper’s expense.

Jasper groaned but put up with it, “How many more movies does movie night even have anyways?”

“Oh just one or two!” Steven said, shifting on Jasper’s side to get more comfortable.

Lapis leaned back to grab the bag that Peridot and her had brought with them, “Not unless everyone is up for a Camp Pining Hearts marathon,” both her and Peridot broke into huge grins.

Pearl clapped her hands, feigning excitement only to get back at Jasper for all the prodding comments about her status on Homeworld, “Yes I’m sure I can manage that! I’m starting to enjoy sitting, infact I think I can do this all night”

  
When the whole couch agreed to this, Jasper’s heart sunk even further into a proverbial darkness. This would be a very long night.


End file.
